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I have been blessed with an amazing stepfather and for that, I am grateful. When my stepfather became a grandfather, my children really lucked out too!
How it all began
I lost my father to cancer when I was 17. We had a strange relationship after my 11th year. My parents divorced because there were some serious issues that came up and they just couldn’t work past them. I ended up with my mom and my two brothers went with my dad. The communication between the two sides was nonexistent. A large piece of me died at that point. My childhood was no longer.
Thankfully, my mother was able to meet an amazing man. This man would become a huge part of my life and to him I owe a great deal of respect! Over the years, he has put up with so much of me. And you know what, he smiled through most of it. He loved me, it seemed, unconditionally. I am very fortunate for this. I know not all blended families get this sort of situation. It seemed that I drew the big straw on this deal, and I am so grateful for it.
My stepfather was there for me through it all. Through my teenage lash-outs and uncontrollable anger, he stood by me. He made sure I had every opportunity to succeed. even though he did not have to do that for me. This man would drive me all over the state to play soccer at an elite level. He would cart me around, no matter my mood. He was always a voice of reason when times were tough on me.
Just after my father and I had reconnected, he was diagnosed with lung cancer. and it was not an easy time for me. Things moved fast and just shy of 6 months after his diagnosis, he passed away. I had just started college, and was living on campus for preseason soccer when the call came in. Another piece of me died that day. He would never be able to walk me down the aisle, would never know me as an adult and would not be able to be a grandfather to my future kids.
I was devastated and blessed all at once
Lucky for me, I had a man in my life that would take that place and he would take it with grace! He showed up in my life, on so many occasions. Talking sternly to my suitors he let them know, that I am to be treated like a queen. He never let me feel alone in this world and took every opportunity to show me that I am important!
When I decided to say yes to my husband, he was there to walk me down the aisle to give me away to my husband. He was there for my father-daughter dance. He was there through it all, as my father. Of course, I wished my own father could have been there, but he never let me feel like there was a gaping hole in my life.
Stepfather became a grandfather
Just a couple years after being married, my husband and I decided to start a family. We became pregnant with our first child and he was brought into this world with a grandfather on both sides. He would never know my father personally but he would hear stories about him from day one. Same with our second born and now with our third child. My stepfather became a grandfather three times through me. All three of these kids know my step-father as Pa, their grandfather.
For them, there is no step. They don’t even think about it. He is their grandfather. They know he is not my father and they know they will never meet my father, but for them, they have a grandfather who treats them with love, as if they were blood. They know Pa will be there for them and they love him, unconditionally.
Our blended family
The circle of life evolves and for our little blended family, we are fortunate. We have been blessed with a man who stepped up and showed up, every day. Within one generation has made us all feel like family. We are his family and he is ours.
We all have our stories and many of us have blended families. I would love to hear your thoughts on a stepfather becoming a grandfather and how that impacts you or your kids. We have been blessed and I hope you have too!
If you would like to hear more of our thoughts, you might enjoy our post Generations of parenting.
There are a ton of resources around the web for step fathers. If you want to find support for stepdads be sure to check out supportforstepdads.com.